Grief and the Genesis

I intended to restart my blog with a raw post about my resentment of the grief inside me.  Today I felt enlightened for a brief moment and I think this story makes for a better beginning. 

This afternoon I was babysitting a seven year old little girl.  She was reading from her children's bible the story of Adam and and Eve.  At the end of each chapter the book asks for the reader to tell the story in their own words.  When I explained Eve eating the apple to my seven year old friend I felt like I opened my eyes as well as hers.  

I told her that Eve eating the apple was worth all of the pain and punishment that came with it.  I said that the joys of making our own decisions on who to love and what to make of our lives is worth all the grief and pain.  Epic sadness is worth epic joy.  

I do not think this will be ground breaking for most.  However, when grief truly has you in a chokehold the smallest things are enlightening. 

I have been struggling with my grief exponentially.  I have been unable to find an outlet or solution for the rage and pain that lives beneath my ribs.  The conversation with my little friend, Gwyn, helped me to heal a little bit, and to appreciate myself more than I have for months.  

Grief is difficult and the world is unforgiving.  I wish that the people around me could understand and relent in their criticisms. 

Remember you are never alone in your grief, allow your humanity to wash over you.